Friday, July 15, 2011
I made the choice years ago to stop working to raise my son and they were the most wonderful times of my life.
I made the choice 31 years ago as my dad was dying and I was getting married to never move far away from my mother and leave her alone ever.
My Aunt had no children of her own and I made a choice to give myself to her and I truly was blessed to have two Mothers. She was never alone right up until her dying day. No regrets their either.
In keeping my promise, my mother had a heart attack three years ago and moved here with us. She is now 92.
I am now 52. The second chapter of this wonderful life.
I love nurturing and helping others but I also am learning I must find time to do the things I love and enjoy.
There are senior centers for which Mom can go a few hours a week. I will admit, I discouraged her from attending as she is blind in one eye and I constantly played the what if game in my head. What if she falls, what if the van doesnt pick her up, among a few of the things I let myself believe. What I actually wound up doing is making myself ill as well as enabling her. She needs to be amongst those her age. Ialso need a few hours of space from her.
I surrender! I am no longer fearful!. I am going to continue to be the best daughter I can be but also am changing my way of thinking. I am no longer fearing all the what ifs and instead keeping the faith that the Man above will protect her when she is not with me.
I must open my eyes to the fact I dont have to control everything anymore. Im 50 something. These are the best days of my life.
My fear is out of love. Its very hard to let go of anything you love. We all have wings however and its sad when we have abilities inside us but stay in a comfort zone and not use them.
In a sense Mom stifled my wings and was afraid to let me go. Im now ready to fly and begin daring to dream bigger. I have so many abilities within me and it is now time to use them. Mom also has abilities which I was causing her to not use.
Changing my way of thinking has been a win win situation for us both.
No more caregiving burnout.
We are 50 somethings!!...I hope your not burning out over something in your life. If so, please write me. Perhaps together we can change your way of thinking about it. One sentence can change your life.
Lets begin today to enjoy each day to the fullest despite circumstances as these truly are the best days of our lives....
Friday, July 1, 2011
I officially now am beginning my 53rd year and I am so excited. I feel there are so many doors for which I want to venture into and keep enriching my mind with different things. The choices are endless.
My first half I spent caring for my family, my aunt, my mom. I still am loving and giving and caring and always will continue to be. I however am really ready to have a year for me!! I am still a caregiver of my Mom and a wife and homemaker but Im now realizing its fine to take breaks each day to do something that I enjoy. I read, cook new recipes, try different style clothing or accessories, call friends, help neighbors, write, crochet, google new topics online, workout, write handwritten notes, email, and social network to name just a few.
I want to do more things, go more places, try new restaurants, parks, museums. Every weekend can be spent getting out and having fun. I want to have wonderful memories with family and friends. I want to take lots of pictures to save one day for the future. Im so blessed to be learning a little more about my own grandparents for who I never met.
I want to be generous in sharing my story both on this blog and my blogtalkradio show as well as the handwritten journals Ive been doing for the past six years. I want to leave the story behind. I want to inspire all woman my age that our life is full of fun times and opportunities. Dont let a number prevent you from having a fulfilling life.
Body, Mind and Spirit. The work never should stop. I am going to find time each and every day to work on me and my dream coming true.
50 something is the next chapter. I have had an excellent beginning but well begun literally is only half done!
I have so much living to do! I hope you will all join me.
What are your dreams, what have you put on hold all these years? I would love to hear them.
Start today to visualize the life you wish to live. When you see it in front of you every day it will happen. Others have become successful so why not you? You most definately can succeed but it takes work.
Follow those dreams. Sometimes we have to act like children and play make believe. Make believe you already accomplished the mission. Feel it, be proud of it. Dreams come true...these truly are the best days of our lives Promise me you will begin today.
I already have!!